Been doing this since '93.
Started running this elevator the summer of ‘93. Building was full of writers back then. Still is, mostly. They'd ride up clutching pages, ride down looking gutted. Eventually one of them — nice woman, romance novelist, mole on her chin — just turned to me and said, “Tell me what's wrong with chapter four.”
So I told her. The mother shows up too easy. The fight has no exit. The protagonist agrees too fast in the kitchen scene because you're tired of writing it. She nodded and got off on three. Came back next week with a tin of cookies.
Word got around. People started riding the elevator just to talk. I ran out of cookies real fast.
How it works.
- Pick the floor. Floors are acts. One through five.
- Paste the stuck part into the maintenance log. Whole scene, fragment, dialogue, doesn't matter. Operator's read worse.
- Hit DIAGNOSE. Brass button. Cable creaks. Operator comes up.
- You get a slip. The hole. Why it's stuck. Five ways out, ranked from a band-aid to dynamite.
- Plant the ones you like in the garden. They grow.
A note about the janitor.
He works nights. Doesn't like me. Thinks I coddle. If you upgrade, you can call him in for a second opinion. He'll tell you things I won't. Don't take it personal. He's not personal. He's just tired in a different key.